"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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