she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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