just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We got so high we made milksteak
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
