Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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