Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
