Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
