dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
