Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize