Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
