she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
