so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
