I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
