Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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