i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just tell him i said nine months
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
