wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
