My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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