a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize