Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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