I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize