i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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