He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So vagazzling was a success
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
