franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
