so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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