There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
