just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
