If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
