I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
should my penis look like a turkey
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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