Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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