wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
