I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
