it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
