I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
