duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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