Can i not drive my cunt home
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
