i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
