6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
