Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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