thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize