Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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