She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
