3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
