just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
