i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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