I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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