I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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