Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I understand Curling. That high.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
