my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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