i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
