Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
4 words: hood of his car
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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