so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think a kid would responsible me up
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
