She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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