yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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