he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
