I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
