Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize