so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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