I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
