dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
