We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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