this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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