I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
