The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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