If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
