his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
