You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
