is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
