Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Found the puke drawer
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
