There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
