perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
