There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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