how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize