I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize