I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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