i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
