im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I FOUND THE LEGS
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
